I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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