How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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