It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
