she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
