There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
