Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
