I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
