I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
