:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
