I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
