Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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