Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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