I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
