Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
