the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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