Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm always down for nudity.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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