So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
