You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
