Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
