maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
