You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
