And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
