Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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