Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
