You're my little dorito
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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