He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
