I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
