I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
