I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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