he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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