I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
