how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish i was in the wii world.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
