There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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