So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my being single is dangerous.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
