just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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