i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
