Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
