This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
