Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
