I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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