I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
