why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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