dude i'm inner monologue high
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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