Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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