So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
