she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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