hotel room ftw
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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