Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The air taste purple.
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