Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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