Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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